#cal

Cal: "I'm really sorry, Professor, but how do you explain these ? Swiss Cake Rolls. That doesn't rhyme; it's not cute; it's not childlike. And this is one of our most-respected snack foods, is it not? How is that, Professor? Hmmm?" Eliot: "Well, isn't it obvious? We trust the Swiss for their ability to engineer things, to build with precision." Cal: "We do?" Eliot: "Do I even have to mention Swiss watches? Swiss Army knives? Swiss cheese? If anyone can build a non-threatening, non-lethal snack cake, it's the Swiss. They're neutral, we can trust them not to attack us with trans-fatty acids and sugar. I think you would feel differently if they were German Cake Rolls. North Korean Cake Rolls. I bet you wouldn't eat them." Cal: "I bet I would. ↗

— Brad Barkley

#cal #calliope #eliot #heather-hepler #humor

Offence is so easily given. And where the 'minority' issue is involved, the rules seem to shift about: most of the time a person who is female/black/disabled/gay wants this not to be their defining characteristic; you are supposed to be blind to it. But then, on other occasions, you are supposed to observe special sensitivity, or show special respect. ↗

— Lynne Truss

#sensitivity #respect

No life form on this planet undergoes such a slow and graceful death as the tobacco leaf. ↗

— Mark McGinty

#historical-fiction #the-cigar-maker #ybor-city #death

There's nothing essentially romantic about things like roses or jewelry. Romance starts as some blank concept, and then you just fill it in with objects so you have something to point to when you want to make it real. ↗

— Andrea Seigel

#romantically-honest #romantic

I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat. ↗

— Rebecca West

#been #call #differentiate #doormat #express

Have I ever told you how glad I am we're not enemies? Eragon asked. No, but it's very sweet of you. Eragon to Saphira ↗

— Christopher Paolini

#brightscales #dragon-riders #dragons #eragon #fantasy

The United States is a nation of laws, badly written and randomly enforced. ↗

— Frank Zappa

#state

In many ways an artistic nature unfits a man for a practical existence. ↗

— Robert Louis Stevenson

#art

Silence in the shell of a city, no baby crying, no car honking, no ambulance shrieking, no lovers moaning, no drunks throwing up in the alley, no lights, nothing but wind and rain and snow in its season and rust and a rattling of open doors and carcass smell. It was a possibility like a brain tumor or a scorpion bite. ↗

— Anne Roiphe

#art-and-madness #autobiographical #art

I have never been so calculating as to sing some Barry White song to get a girl. But I do think it's very romantic to cook dinner and sit around the piano at night and sing together. ↗

— John Stamos

#barry #barry white #been #calculating #cook