#cal

We made it back to the airport without getting mugged, stoned, shot at, pounced on, bombed, shelled, garroted, gassed, pitched into, caught in a cross fire, sniped at, blockaded, napalmed, or trip-wired. No one even hit us with a water balloon. ↗

— Daniel Quinn

#funny #humor #ishmael #funny

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? ↗

— Lily Tomlin

#humor

Intelligence is being intelligent enough to know you're not so intelligent as you intelligently once thought. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#humorous-quotations #philosophical #humor

If you make a deal with a fool, don't be surprised when they act foolishly. ↗

— Jeffrey Archer

#philosophical #humor

If we happened to be in rehearsal downstairs in my room and a neighbor padded across the lawn to rap gently on the window and ask us to please be more quiet, Natalie might simply lift up her skirt and mash her vagina against the window while extending her middle finger. ↗

— Augusten Burroughs

#humor #hysterical #vagina #humor

The look Anthony shot at his sister was so comically malevolent Simon nearly laughed. He managed to restrain himself, but mostly just because he was fairly certain that any show of humor would cause Anthony's fist to lose its battle with his brain, with Simon's face emerging as the conflict's primary casualty. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#humor

... the vintage of history is forever repeating ~ same old vines, same old wines! ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#goethe #history #history-of-mankind #history-repeating-itself #human-nature

I still couldn't imagine that she was really, truly pregnant; maybe this was an hysterical pregnancy. But Sarah was never hysterical. Enthusiastic, yes, ironic on occasion. I couldn't imagine a doctor saying, "No, it's just an ironic pregnancy. ↗

— James Lileks

#irony #pregnancy #imagination

The US is the most wretchedly villainous state of all times. Anyone aware of global issues can easily imagine how vast the hatred for the United States - a corrupted, swollen, paralysing and suffocating political entity - must be across the Third World - and among the thinking minority of the West too. ↗

— Pentti Linkola

#global #hatred #noremorse #political #third-world

What interests me, personally, is work which in some way, speaks the truth to power…I don’t think we speak the truth to power for power’s ear, but for the ear and the imagination of future generations, who would seek to live in a world free from the malign and self-serving influence of those who wield it. ↗

— Irvine Welsh

#political-commentary #politics #posterity #power #resistance