#ch

They don't fit you?" V asked his roommate. "Not the point. No offense, but these are wicked Village People." Butch held his heavy arms out and turned in a circle, his bare chest catching the light. "I mean, come on." "They're for fighting, not fashion." "So are kilts, but you don't see me rocking the tartan." "And thank God for that. You're too bowlegged to pull that shit off." Butch assumed a bored expression. "You can bite me. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#butch-vishous #humor #paranormal-romance #romance #vishous-vampire

Every time I've built character, I've regretted it. ↗

— Bill Watterson

#humor

Yes, boys are a little like shoes. Why? Well...They can be useful. But mainly...They are nice to look at. Getting the right one can be a lovely accessory to an outfit. There are times when you couldn't do without them. And there are times when you'd rather do without them. Get the wrong ones and they can hurt. There are many types and often the ones that look the nicest are completely unpractical. ↗

— Rachel Hill

#boys #chocolate #girls #humor #manga

Leo couldn't help smiling. "That could be fun." "Fun" she said unhappily. "Blue elephants." "Blue elephants." "Kiss me you fool." "You fool. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #leo-valdez #humor

Maybe he thinks he can rescue me? No one is that stupid. ↗

— Kim Harrison

#humor #rachel-morgan #romance #vampire #humor

Warrington’s aim’s so pathetic I’d be more worried if he was aiming for the person next to me. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#quidditch #humor

If I ever form a clan, we'll be the anti-cheerleaders and walk under the bleacher forming mild acts of mayhem. ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#humor #humor

My parents are going to kill me!" "That seems rather harsh... ↗

— Garth Nix

#humor #paranoia #parents #humor

Since I don't smoke, I decided to grow a mustache - it is better for the health. However, I always carried a jewel-studded cigarette case in which, instead of tobacco, were carefully placed several mustaches, Adolphe Menjou style. I offered them politely to my friends: "Mustache? Mustache? Mustache?" Nobody dared to touch them. This was my test regarding the sacred aspect of mustaches. ↗

— Salvador Dalí

#dalí #humor #mustache #humor

Hey, Carlos," the Professor says when he walks in. "How was REACH?" "It sucked." "Can you be more specific?" my guardian asks. "It really sucked," I elaborate, sarcasm dripping from every word. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humor #perfect-chemistry #sarcasm #humor