#che

I like that kind of frantic schedule. It makes me feel like I have a purpose. ↗

— Sara Gilbert

#frantic #i #kind #like #makes

I was hot so I gave myself a haircut. I then saw a bald man sweating, so I offered to tweeze his eyebrows. He accepted and was so grateful that he offered to trade mustaches with me. In remembrance of that special bonding moment, I still wear his mustache over my left nipple.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bald #baldness #bond #bonding #eyebrows

Nick: How? Are you a vampire or something? What made you immortal? Acheron: Real good DNA. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#humor #humor

He's not doing anything he shouldn't be doing, right?" "Like what?" "Like hitting on you." "Ew. No, of course not. He doesn't see me that way." Michael shook his head and went back to his coffee. "What? You think he does?" "Sometimes he looks at you a little... oddly, that's all. Maybe you're right. Maybe he just wants you for your blood." "Again, Ew! What's with you this morning?" "Not enough coffee. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #ghost-town #humor #michael-glass #morganville-vampires

No. Don't distract me with your sexy talk. ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#archer-cross #hex-hall #humor #rachel-hawkins #sexy

You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#nietzsche #humor

Art is what gets us beyond what is real. It makes reality more real. It also shortens the distance we gotta travel to see how connected we are. ↗

— Laura Pritchett

#bridge #laura-pritchett #love #sky #art

The hand on my hair moved to my back, and I realized someone was singing softly. The voice was familiar, and something about it made my chest ache. Well, that was to be expected. Angels' songs would be awfully poignant. "'I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, when I met you...'" the voice crooned. I frowned. Was that really an appropriate song for the Heavenly Host to be-- ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#cocktail-bar #grace #hex-hall #humor #mom

He probably would've raised an eyebrow in that annoying/hot way he had, and made a dirty joke about Elodie possessing me. ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#dirty #elodie #hex-hall #humor #rachel-hawkins

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting next to you Saying, 'Damn. We fucked up. ↗

— Cheyenne McCray

#demons-not-included #humor #humor