#cheating

I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she cheated on me. Turns out she had some turkey on the side. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cranberries #dating #funny #humor #music

I know my vision is impaired and cannot be trusted with even the simplest tasks, much less dating. Not that I´ve come within talon distance of a man. ↗

— Suzanne Finnamore

#cheating #deception #divorce #infidelity #marriage

She stabbed him with her wicked pretty knife, disrupted his simple life. She's a player, a heartbreaker, and now she breaks alone. ↗

— Coco J. Ginger

#cheating-lips #friendship #heartbreaker #jamie-weise #love

I would have been a black belt in Karate much sooner, but the store was sold out of Sharpie markers. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #karate #funny

I wrote a thesis on love, and I wrote it in lipstick. Of course, I also got blood on the paper, because the lipstick was still attached to her cheating lips. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #lipstick #love #thesis #funny

I want to write a song about retaliation called, "Oh Yeah, and I Faked Every Orgasm...While You Were Out of Town. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #relationships #retaliation #revenge

I´m just not sending out the right vibe lately. Perhaps the fact that I wear stained sweatpants and free T-shirts is holding me back. I just can´t seem to get back into the intelligent-slut-for-hire outfits that lure men; even shoes with laces evade me. Plus my hair is Fran Lebowitz-esque. I think my eyes are getting closer together. I don´t know. ↗

— Suzanne Finnamore

#cheating #deception #divorce #infidelity #marriage

Yes. THANK YOU. And say hello to Judas Iscariot. ↗

— Suzanne Finnamore

#cheating #deception #divorce #infidelity #marriage

There's nothing like a good cheating song to make me want to run home to be with my wife. ↗

— Steven Curtis Chapman

#cheating #good #home #like #make

You get what you give," we will tell his sorry, selfish ass." The Betty Lady has spoken. I detect a Bronx accent. "But," I demur, "it will make the other woman say, ´See? She IS a jealous and paranoid and pushy wife.´" The Betty Lady rips open a cell phone statement with a nail file and, without looking up at me, says, "Let me tell you something, honey. In my experience? The only thing they care about is what they see in the mirror each morning and WINNING...or their perception of winning. ↗

— Suzanne Finnamore

#cheating #deception #divorce #infidelity #marriage