#ck

Do you think they're going to buy that a guy in tacky leather chaps dances like this?" I scoffed when he twirled me back into his embrace. "Keep it up, and I'll put you in the chaps." He didn't smile, but I sensed an undercurrent of amusement. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#funny #hush-hush #leather-chaps #nora-and-patch #nora-grey

Trent’s chest rises with a quick inhale as his hands lift to grab mine and pull them out, placing them with a pat on the outside of his shirt. “Okay, you win. But don’t do that while I’m driving or we’ll end up in a ditch.” He looks over his shoulder again, adding in a soft, solemn tone, “I’m serious, Kacey. I can’t handle it. ↗

— K.A. Tucker

#k-a-tucker #kacey-cleary #kacey-trent #ten-tiny-breaths #trent-emerson

Neither sleet nor rain nor a half inch of snow will compel me to dress like a lumberjack. ↗

— Gayle Forman

#gayle-forman #if-i-stay #lumberjack #quote #funny

What a schmuck! ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#funny #kids-lit #lemony-snickets #series-of-unfortunate-events #funny

..when the first rubber ball smacked her in the head and made her brains rattle in her skull, she knew that something about this dodgeball game was different ↗

— Michael Buckley

#funny #michael-buckley #funny

What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally shit myself lifeless. ↗

— Bill Bryson

#attack #bear #camp #camping #funny

I'm taller than my father, and taller than two of the stones at Ban Drochaid." "I meant in feet," she clarified. Speaking of the mundane gave her a measure of calm. He eyed his boots a moment and appeared to be doing some rapid calculations. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#funny #gwen #height #karen-marie-moning #kiss-of-the-highlander

He giggled like a puppy being tickled by a kitten wearing a duckling costume. ↗

— Jim Benton

#cute #duckling #funny #kitten #laugh

What are you assholes looking at?" "Nothing," said Radar. "We're certainly not looking at your eyebrows. ↗

— John Green

#comedy #funny #funny

Tell the Queen that there's been a robin red-breast hanging about Kotir grounds. It flies down low and vanishes near the floor. Cludd thinks it might be something to do with those woodlanders. Now, I'm to say nothing to Fortunata or Ashleg... 'I must tell the Queen that a robin has seen Cludd hanging about. No, that's not right. I must tellt he robin taht Cludd has been hanging the Queen. ↗

— Brian Jacques

#funny #thicktail-the-stoat #funny