#come

In the real world, babysitting is a groovy way for young people to learn responsibility (and earn a little pocket money). In the Terrorverse, it's a plot device used to kill teenagers. ↗

— Seth Grahame-Smith

#horror #money

He looked like every glossy frat boy in every nerd movie ever made, like every popular town boy who’d ever looked right through her in high school, like every rotten rich kid who’d ever belonged where she hadn’t. My mama warned me about guys like you. He turned to her as if he’d heard her and took off his sunglasses, and she went down the steps to meet him, wiping her sweaty palms on her dust-smeared khaki shorts. “Hi, I’m Sophie Dempsey,” she said, flashing the Dempsey gotta-love-me grin as she held out her hot, grimy hand, and after a moment he took it. His hand was clean and cool and dry, and her heart pounded harder as she looked into his remote, gray eyes. “Hello, Sophie Dempsey,” her worst nightmare said. “Welcome to Temptation. ↗

— Jennifer Crusie

#comedy #crusie #romance-novels #love

Here comes Mamma Vauquerr, fair as a starrr; and strung up like a bunch of carrots. Aren't we suffocating ourselves a wee bit?' he asked, placing a hand on the top of her corset. 'A bit of a crush in the vestibule, here, Mamma! If we start crying, there'll be an explosion. Never mind, I'll be there to collect the bits--just like an antiquary.' 'Now, there's the language of true French gallantry,' murmured Madame Vauquer in an aside to Madame Couture. ↗

— Honoré de Balzac

#comedy #good-natured #humor #mockery #obliviousness

A lot of people come up here and they thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. He didn't help me a bit. If it was up to him, Cesar Millan would be up here with that damn dog. So all I can say is, 'suck it, Jesus! This award is my God now'! ↗

— Kathy Griffin

#blasphemy #comedy #humor #humour #religion

Being a “friend of sinners” is an accusation that Christians should wear as a badge of honor, for nothing could honor Jesus more, and nothing is more revealing of who God actually is. ↗

— Ronnie McBrayer

#sinners #welcome #religion

Bila dari dulu aku tahu sebuah tabrakan bisa mempertemukanku dengan wanita cantik sepertimu, aku tak akan mengemudi terlalu hati-hati. ↗

— Francisca Todi

#relationship #romance #romance-novels #romantic #romantic-comedy

Often you don’t know whether you’re the hero of a romantic comedy or the villain on a Lifetime special until the restraining order arrives. ↗

— Tim Kreider

#romance #romantic-comedy #stalking #romantic

Karamel. Aku baru memperhatikan, warna matanya coklat keemasan, seperti sirup karamel yang selalu kucampurkan di kopiku. ↗

— Francisca Todi

#relationship #romance #romance-novels #romantic #romantic-comedy

Look!" She pointed, a smile on her face. "Wild pigs!" "They have razor-sharp tusks, so don't try to hug one. ↗

— Pamela Clare

#romantic-suspense #romantic

Ladies. We've got a rat in our midst. ↗

— Sydnie Riley

#romantic-comedy #sherry-james #romantic