#con

I don't think you should be an Auror, Harry," said Luna unexpectedly. Everybody looked at her. "The Aurors are part of the Rotfang Conspiracy, I thought everyone knew that. They're working to bring down the Ministry of Magic from within using a mixture of dark magic and gum disease. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#conspiracy #gum-disease #harry-potter #humor #luna-lovegood

Stairs," Valkyrie said, disappointed. "Not just ordinary stairs," Skulduggery told her as he led the way down. "Magic stairs." "Really?" "Oh, yes." She followed him into the darkness. "How are they magic?" "They just are." "In what way?" "In a magicky way." She glared at the back of his head. "They aren't magic at all, are they?" "Not really. ↗

— Derek Landy

#derek-landy #funny #humor #magic #skulduggery-pleasant

Sometimes when it looks like I'm deep in thought I'm just trying not to have a conversation with people. ↗

— Pete Wentz

#humor #pete #thought #wentz #humor

What ho!" I said. "What ho!" said Motty. "What ho! What ho!" "What ho! What ho! What ho!" After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor #humor

Learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon. ↗

— Charles M. Schulz

#humor #live-in-the-moment #napping #humor

You love me.” He kept gazing upward, his answer coming softly. “Yeah. I do. ↗

— Toni Blake

#romance #love

It's not all gone. She loved someone before and so did I. The Society and the Rising and the world are all still out there, pressing against us. But Lei holds them away. She's made enough space for two people to stand up together, whether or not any Society or Rising says that they can. She's done it before. The amazing thing is that she's not afraid to do it again. When we fall in love the first time, we don't know anything. We risk a lot less than we do if we choose to love again. There is something extraordinary about the first time falling. But if feels even better to find myself standing on solid ground, with someone holding on to me, pulling me back, and know that I'm doing the same for her. ↗

— Ally Condie

#second-chances #love

And down I went to fetch my bride: But, Alice, you were ill at ease; This dress and that by turns you tried, Too fearful that you should not please. I loved you better for your fears, I knew you could not look but well; And dews, that would have fall'n in tears, I kiss'd away before they fell. ↗

— Alfred Tennyson

#dresses #fears #self-consciousness #tears #wedding

Nothing builds confidence like live ammo. ↗

— Tim Dorsey

#firearms #humor #humor

Smartass Disciple: Master, do you really believe in the second chance? Master of Stupidity: That supports the basis of lost-then-found concept. ↗

— Toba Beta

#humor #lost-then-found #philosophy #second-chance #humor