#crack

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. ↗

— Bernard Meltzer

#cracked #egg #even #friend #knows

There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#the-paris-review #wisecrack #wit #humor

Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales was expected to clock in at anywhere between 100 and 120 chapters. Unfortunately, the dude only managed to finish 24 tales before he suffered an insurmountable and permanent state of writer's block commonly known as death. ↗

— Jacopo della Quercia

#cracked #death #geoffrey-chaucer #humor #death

I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of conditioner today. Because yolo. Things Jesus never said. ↗

— Dave Matthes

#bastard #booze #comedy #conditioner #crack

Change, when it comes, cracks everything open. ↗

— Dorothy Allison

#comes #cracks #everything #open

I have a hard time defending the production of candy, given that it is basically crack for children and makes them dependent in unwholesome ways. ↗

— Steve Almond

#candy #children #crack #defending #dependent

With any project there's one or two things that you really want to do and that's going to crack it. ↗

— Matthew Bourne

#crack #going #project #really #things

We met in Cracker. I played a maniac fan who murders a policeman and she did my makeup. I thought anyone interested in me looking like that must have genuinely liked me. ↗

— Robert Carlyle

#cracker #did #fan #genuinely #i

Follow the path of the unsafe, independent thinker. Expose your ideas to the dangers of controversy. Speak your mind and fear less the label of 'crackpot' than the stigma of conformity. And on issues that seem important to you, stand up and be counted at any cost. ↗

— Chauncey Depew

#conformity #controversy #cost #counted #crackpot

Sympathetic cracks. A term frequently used by architects and surveyors in terms of ageing houses. I know what they mean. ↗

— Ted Dexter

#architects #cracks #frequently #houses #i