#dam

Zombies, deadheads, corpsicles. What's the difference? They don't care. They don't have feelings to hurt. ↗

— Daniel Waters

#funny-yet-mean #generation-dead #funny

He’d use this opportunity to impress Rick and show him that he did, in fact, have more to offer than just being a sexy skanktart. To show that he wasn’t just a brainless bimfoon, that’s when a bimbo breeds with a buffoon, resulting in a true, hot mess. ↗

— Kyle Adams

#drag #drag-queen #funny #kyle-adams #skanktart

You have two emotions—apathy and rage—and nothing in between.” Ellie wanted him to stop, but she could hear the truth in his words. She closed her eyes for his killing blow. “It’s like you’re not even a person. You’re an…organism.” “That’s not true.” Ellie forced her eyes open. “I am a person. I’m just not good at it. ↗

— S.G. Redling

#funny

Remove yourself, sir! ↗

— David McCullough

#david-mccullough #funny #history #john-adams #funny

To work hard, to live hard, to die hard, and then go to hell after all would be too damn hard. ↗

— Carl Sandburg

#damn #die #die hard #go #go to hell

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. ↗

— Charles Addams

#life #morticia-addams #humor

I've got a dad thanks. Your just the jerk who knocked up my mum and left her to figure out what to do with a son who likes setting things on fire." - Adam Vasic ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#humor #kelly-armstrong #thirteen #humor

When we got to the moron who was sitting in the only path to the stairway, Adam caught my waist and lifted me over before stepping over the man himself. “Scott?” Adam said as we headed upstairs. “Yeah?” “Unless someone shoots you, skins you, and throws the results on the floor, I don’t want to see you lying in the walkway again.” “Yessir! ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#humor #mercy-thompson #silver-borne #threats #humor

I believe you are one of the people that can lift the corners of the universe. ↗

— Ann M. Martin

#great #hattie #humor #humor

Just imagine! In the early nineteenth century, this cathedral was in such a state of disrepair that the city considered tearing it down. Luckily for us, Victor Hugo heard about the plans to destroy it and wrote The Hunchback of Notre-Dame to raise awareness of its glorious history. And, by golly, did it work! Parisians campaigned to save it, and the building was repaired and polished to the pristine state you find today. ↗

— Stephanie Perkins

#paris #the-hunchback-of-notre-dame #victor-hugo #imagination