#dark

All right,” she said a little sarcastically. “I was going to assume you liked eating babies and sacrificing virgins, but I might as well ask, what do you do for fun?” “I languish in sin,” I replied in the same tone. “I take my babies rare, and my virgins over easy. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#dark #humor #michael #sarcasm #humor

What about the whiskey?" Jack said as they ran. "Won't it keep them out?" The Green Maidens don't drink anything but blood." Bob's disembodied voice floated after them. "The whiskey magick won't affect them." Wonderful," the old actor muttered, a tremor of fear in his voice. "I should've poured a Bloody Mary. ↗

— Lesley Livingston

#drinks #faeries #humor #humor

Life's a grave dig it. ↗

— K.R. Helms

#humor

Well, fame is a drug and when you take it away from an addict, things can get ugly. ↗

— Melissa Jo Peltier

#reality-tv #satire #television #humor

An ordinary man can enjoy breakfasting on juice and rye bread. But when you are underfed, scorned, miserable or just plain bored, you don’t want to eat dull wholesome food. You want something a little more colourful, exciting, tastier, meatier and juicier. ↗

— R.S. Vern

#animated #cat-haee #cathaee #children-s-books #dark

Nothing can unman you like an un-man. ↗

— Chuck Hogan

#strain #unman #humor

You have to figure that there is something seriously wrong with somebody who wants to enter a profession that deals with whether people are screwing enough. Dealing with spirits, spooks, and demons almost seemed normal. ↗

— Tom Upton

#humor #psychiatry #young-adult #humor

I admire these phone hackers. I think they have a lot of patience. I can't even be bothered to check my OWN voicemails. ↗

— Andrew Lawrence

#humor

Love is a madness. Love is Failer - Durzo Blint ↗

— Brent Weeks

#fantasy #humor

My friend died doing what he loved ... Heroin. ↗

— Deanne Smith

#humor