#dates

First dates are like homeless vagrants: despite all efforts to avoid them, they’re always at McDonalds and you end up without any spare change. ↗

— Bauvard

#first-dates #funny #homelessness #love #change

Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking. ↗

— Amy Sedaris

#jokes #relationships #romance #dating

I sound contemptuous, but I am not. I am interested--intrigued even--by the way time erases real lives, leaving only vague imprints. Blood and spirit fade away so that only names and dates remain. ↗

— Kate Morton

#history #life #names #people #spirits

Did I mention you're going to have to drive on our date?" I asked. "Cheap bastard. ↗

— Patrick Carman

#thirteen-days-to-midnight #dating

Dates are convenient hooks on which we can hang our memories of events. But history is all about people - people like you and me who did things to change the world. ↗

— Joan Lowery Nixon

#events #history #memories #people #change

Screw technicolor, red, and foreign languages. I dream in status updates. ↗

— Fierce Dolan

#dreams #foreign-language #status-updates #technicolor #dreams

I am not interested in being set up. I need to be ambushed, caught unawares, like some sort of feral love-jackal. I'm too self-conscious otherwise. I feel myself trying to be charming, and then I realize I’m obviously trying to be charming, and then I try to be even more charming to make up for the fake charm, and then I’ve basically turned into Liza Minnelli: I’m dancing in tights and sequins, begging you to love me. There’s a bowler and jazz hands and lots of teeth. ↗

— Gillian Flynn

#dating #dating

The idea that you can merchandise candidates for high office like breakfast cereal - that you can gather votes like box tops - is, I think, the ultimate indignity to the democratic process. ↗

— Adlai E. Stevenson

#box #breakfast #breakfast cereal #candidates #cereal

Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid. ↗

— Frank Zappa

#boring #bunch #dates #deadlines #decorate

You need a place just a click over middle range. Don’t want to go all-out first time, but you don’t want to run on the cheap either. You want atmosphere, but not stuffy. A nice established place.” “Bob, you’re going to give me an ulcer.” “This is all ammunition, Cart. All ammo. You want to be able to order a nice bottle of wine. Oh, and after dinner, if she says how she doesn’t want dessert, you suggest she pick one and you’ll split it. Women love that. Sharing dessert’s sexy. Do not go on and on about your job over dinner. Certain death. Get her to talk about hers, and what she likes to do. Then—” “Should I be writing this down? ↗

— Nora Roberts

#friends #friendships #humor #love #dating