#de

Oh, for God's sake," I said. "Just give me the stupid thing." I took the panic button and stuck it into my Super Sexy Miracle Bra. "GPS," Ranger said to Morelli. "Probably I can find her breast without it," Morelli said. "But it's good to know there's a navigational system on board if I need it. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#navigational-devices #sexy #humor

I have learned that particularly clever ideas do not always stand up under close scrutiny. ↗

— Elizabeth Peters

#ideas #scrutiny #humor

Gruff,” I said, “I find myself largely clueless about why mortal women do what they do. It will take a wiser man than me to understand what’s in a fae woman’s mind. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #women #humor

Yeah, but I forgot to take my George Orwell-shaped multivitamins along with my breakfast bowl of Big Brother Os this morning. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

That’s my girl,” she said, her eyes holding a shared pain as she saw my confusion. “Al, where are you going to put her? Not in your room. She’d pull a line through you and kill you when you hog the blankets. I’ll take the waif in. I promise I’ll bring this one up properly. ↗

— Kim Harrison

#demons #newt #humor

Hexen stehen immer zwischen Birken ↗

— Walter Moers

#horror #humor #humor

Vortexy. "Is that even a word?" I ask myself "You're talking to yourself, so who the hell cares?" I reply ↗

— Gayle Forman

#humor #humor

Nothing builds confidence like live ammo. ↗

— Tim Dorsey

#firearms #humor #humor

I pressed PLAY and started up Chiron's favorite--the All-Time Greatest Hits of Dean Martin. Suddenly the air was filled with violins and a bunch of guys moaning in Italian. The demon pigeons went nuts. They started flying in circles, running into each other like they wanted to bash their own brains out. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #pigeons #humor

Thank God for wisecracks. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor