#de

Somehow, having a deer preside over the ceremony of a werewolf and a girl seems oddly appropriate. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#funny #humor #marriage #funny

I was thinking we could get a picture of you holding a pitchfork or something. Maybe a big wooden cross? Sound good?"(Brian) She stared at him. He lifted his hands and leaned back in his seat, as if he was afraid she might start spitting on him. "Hey, only joking." "Very funny." "Oh, I do love jokes." Greyson Dante stood by her side. "Hello, Mr. Dante. I'm afraid this is a private conversation, so you will, of course, be going now." His grin widened. Was there no way to insult the man? ↗

— Stacia Kane

#greyson #megan #personal-demons #stacia-kane #funny

When I’m lonely I stand in the corner and play my saxophone and feel sorry for myself. I would ask you to accompany me on the piano, but if I did that I wouldn’t be lonely, would I? And what’s the point of a saxophone if not to celebrate despair?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#celebrate #celebration #despair #funny #humor

Gohan...Is that sunburn or are you blushing? ↗

— Akira Toriyama

#funny #gohan #goku #krillian #videl

…breaking the heart of someone you still love is a rare horror, not funny to anyone, except perhaps Satan…and even his pleasure would be spoiled by not having had a hand in it, by the dumb, wasteful accident of the thing. The Devil wants meaning just like the rest of us. ↗

— Glenn Duncan

#love #meaning #the-devil #funny

I directed my first film. It’s about the economy and it’s called “Bend Over.” It’s an hour and a half of a single continuous shot of an ass, naked and bent over. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#economy #funny #humor #funny

I happen to find ceilings much lovelier than the night sky myself. Sometimes I just stare at them for hours and wonder what could be up there. ↗

— Bauvard

#ceilings #constellations #funny #humor #sky

I sobbed again, and this time my father chuckled. "What's so funny?" I demanded, tilting my head when my cheek got his coat wet. "You didn't cry when Kevin Mitchell broke your arm, or when you got stabbed in the hip the last time we were here. But boy troubles are still enough to reduce you to tears. ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#faythe #greg-sanders #funny

Breaking away from Gideon with some reluctance, Sophie rose to her feet and dusted off her dress. "Please forgive me, my dear Mr. Lightwood- I mean Gideon- but I must go and murder the cook. I shall be directly back. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#gideon #love #sophie #forgiveness

He looked just perfect to play Dorian Gray in a film version of Oscar Wilde's novel. Young, graceful, and indecently fresh and handsome, he could easily have worn a badge that said READY FOR DEBAUCHERY! ↗

— Sergei Lukyanenko

#debauchery #funny #handsome #funny