There are only two guidelines in good sex, don't do anything you don't really enjoy and find out what are your partner needs and don't balk them if you can help it. ↗
Behind a leader there must be followers, but they should always be on the lookout for the main chance and ready to change sides if the current leader doesn't deliver. ↗
If you think of a work of fiction as a kind of scale model of the world, then the positive valences - where things turn out better than you thought they would - ought to be in there somewhere, too. ↗