#din

My mother-in-law was with me during all four of my births and when she was sitting next to me holding my hand during the cesareans, well, I craved that. ↗

— Patricia Heaton

#craved #during #four #hand #holding

Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock. ↗

— Ben Hecht

#determine #going #hand #like #newspapers

I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#candy #front #fun #get #glass

I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#business #came #casino #exit #fire

Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#disillusion #go #here #i #i am

I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#fix #gonna #i #joke #last

It is up to the public to stop attending these theatrical, and aquatic shows, and circuses with wild animals. The rhetoric about how the animals are happy and well cared for are lies. Don't be swayed by them. The money behind these shows is huge; there is nothing good about them. ↗

— Tippi Hedren

#attending #behind #cared #good #happy

So I think it is common knowledge that Hitchcock had fantasies or whatever you want to call them about his leading ladies. ↗

— Tippi Hedren

#call #common #common knowledge #fantasies #had

Billy not only had a distinguished career in the Legislature, but he also has great business instincts and has done exceedingly well making investment decisions in both stocks and private ventures such as real estate. ↗

— Christie Hefner

#billy #both #business #career #decisions

The learner always begins by finding fault, but the scholar sees the positive merit in everything. ↗

— Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel

#always #begins #everything #fault #finding