#disorder

I didn't particularly want to live much longer than that. Life seemed rather daunting. It seems so to me even now. Life seemed too long a time to have to stick around, a huge span of years through which one would be require to tap-dance and smile and be Great! and be Happy! and be Amazing! and be Precious! I was tired of my life by the time I was sixteen. I was tired of being too much, too intense, too manic. I was tired of people, and I was incredibly tired of myself. I wanted to do whatever Amazing Thing I was expected to do— it might be pointed out that these were my expectations, mine alone— and be done with it. Go to sleep. ↗

— Marya Hornbacher

#life

What if I'm so broken I can never do something as basic as feed myself? Do you realize how twisted that is? It amazes me sometimes that humans still exist. We're just animals, after all. And how can an animal get so removed from nature that it loses the instinct to keep itself alive? ↗

— Amy Reed

#eating-disorders #life #loss #life

The barriers we face in life are so often the ones we create in our minds. As a child I couldn’t open that wooden gate because my body prevented me from doing so. As a teenager it seemed I couldn’t open that door because my mind held me hostage. The world that waited beyond it now was no longer one of safety or escape. Instead, I knew every time that I opened that door, it would be to a life of psychological insecurity and emotional entrapment. She - that cerebral leech who clung to all my thoughts - convinced me of this fact. Only with her could I find and maintain an asylum of mental armour ↗

— Leanne Waters

#eating-disorder #life

The order I found was the order of disorder ↗

— William Saroyan

#life #order #life

I ask: which of the two, civil or natural life, is more likely to become insufferable to those who live it? We see about us practically no people who do not complain about their existence; many even deprive themselves of it to the extent they are able, and the combination of divine and human laws is hardly enough to stop this disorder. ↗

— Jean-Jacques Rousseau

#divine-law #human-laws #law #life #natural-order

But new love only lasts so long, and then you crash back into the real people you are, and from as high as we were, it's a very long fall, and we hit the ground with a thud. ↗

— Marya Hornbacher

#crashing #falling #love #mental-illness #new-love

Falling in love happens so suddenly that it seems, all at once, that you have always been in love. ↗

— Marya Hornbacher

#falling #love #madness #mental-illness #sudden

Patrice had long since buried the particulars of events so painful that they caused her to resolve only to see good. With such a stance, such as dissociative split, she could walk with evil and believe it did not exist. She was Joe's perfect mate. ↗

— Judith Spencer

#dissociation #dissociative-identity-disorder #evil #evil-men #mpd

I became skilled at covering my tracks, filling in the blanks. Sometimes the blanks were never filled. At other times, I would recall places where I had been or things I had done as if from a dream, which made the playback of my father and other men abusing me seem I even less real, fantasies conjured up from my imagination I not my memory. Perhaps somebody else’s memory. I didn’t think of myself as having mental-health problems. You don’t at sixteen. I thought of myself as being special, highly strung, moody. ↗

— Alice Jamieson

#amnesia #dissociation #dissociative #dissociative-identity-disorder #incest

The reason I don't Kill Myself is because I know I can. ↗

— Stanley Victor Paskavich

#mental-disorders #mental-health #suicide #suicide-attempt #mental-health