#dry

There are four on whose pots the Holy One, blessed he, knocked, only to find them filled with piss, and these are they: Adam, Cain, the wicked Balaam, and Hezekiah." Again, an abrupt transposition from the divine to the domestic, from upper to lowly spheres, occurs in the midrash. The homely image of the Holy One knocking on pots apparently derives from the practice of tapping on a clay or earthen pot to hear its ring in order to decide if it is worthy of holding wine. In current Hebrew usage, the expression 'to assess or gauge someone's pot' still denotes taking in the measure of a person's character. From Adam's answer to God, we learn that he turned out to be a pisspot. ↗

— Shuli Barzilai

#humor #wordplay #home

By now, I should have learned that luck, if she was a lady, was a mean-spirited bitch with a grudge against me. ↗

— Jaye Wells

#humor

How can we be alive and not wonder about the stories we knit together this place we call the world? Without stories our universe is merely rocks and clouds and lava and blackness. It's a village scraped raw by warm waters leaving not a trace of what existed before. ↗

— Douglas Coupland

#dry-humor #humor #humor

That's the ultimate goal of most turkey recipes: to create a great skin and stuffing to hide the fact that turkey meat, in its cooked state, is dry and flavorless. Does it have to be that way? No. We just have to focus on what the turkey is and what the turkey needs. ↗

— Alton Brown

#create #does #dry #fact #focus

His father was an ass and he is an ass. I imagine sooner than I should like I shall be playing uncle to a litter of asses. ↗

— T.A. Miles

#clever #dry-humor #fantasy #uncle #wit

When it was her own doing, she was always tempted to skip a day, or just glance down, then get back to the ground. Kel had to force herself to keep her vow. ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#inspirational #keladry-of-mindelan #squire #tamora-pierce #inspirational

She could never take an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth. The weak and flaccid parity would make her nearly puke. She wants an eye for a tooth, and a life for an eye. ↗

— Helen Zahavi

#revenge #life

Daja doesn't exactly need to be tested on whether she's honorable or not." "Doesn't she? Don't all of you? This is your first taste of the things which may come from your being powerful mages. People will offer you gold, status, even love. I want to know how you will react. If want to know if your teachers will release greedy, thoughtless monsters into the world. ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#consequences #niko #sandry #testing #love

... I looked through the car's rear window for a final wave, and it felt like someone had invaded my chest and squeezed all the juice out of my heart until it was a tiny dry sponge. ↗

— Karen Tayleur

#heart #sponge #squeeze-dry #squeezed #wave

And fetch some straw. We’ll put it between us and the ground. No reason we shouldn’t sleep soft tonight.” “Straw. I love luxury. ↗

— Joanna Bourne

#sarcasm #love