#end

I will never deny that life isn't fair. It seems as though when a woman leaves a man she is strong and independent, but when a man leaves a woman he is a pig and a jerk. ↗

— Criss Jami

#funny #humor #humor-relationships #independence #jerk

Men only treat women like princesses when they want to use them like prostitutes. ↗

— Bauvard

#gender #humor #men #prostitution #royalty

Who cares if you have a girlfriend, anyway?" "I care" Simon said gloomily. "Pretty soon the only people left without a girlfriend will be me and Wendell the school janitor. And he smells like windex. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#girlfriend #humor #love #simon #funny

Look, why don't you go talk to Ron about all this?" Harry asked. "Well, I would, but he's always asleep when I go and see him!" said Lavender fretfully. "Is he?" said Harry, surprised, for he had found Ron perfectly alert every time he had been up to the hospital wing. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#lavender-brown #poison #ron #funny

No, no. Don't make that face. Every time I propose to you, you make that twisty, unhappy face. It wears on a man's confidence. ↗

— Tessa Dare

#dare #funny #humor #funny

I want to be a man of mountaintops: to scale the heights, achieve a sublime transcendence, and breathe in the thin air. Transcendence requires suffocation. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#suffocation #transcendence #funny

To recognize one's own insanity is, of course, the arising of sanity, the beginning of healing and transcendence. ↗

— Eckhart Tolle

#insanity #sanity #transcendence #life

A comedy isn’t about being funny...a comedy is about characters who dare to know that they may choose a happy ending after all. ↗

— Gary D. Schmidt

#happy-ending #shakespeare #funny

I’m trying to decide whether to tell you two to get a room or go barf in the trash can,” Emma said. “I’m leaning toward the second choice. You are both getting way too weird. And gross.” Cal barked out a laugh and slid his fingers down my arm to entwine with mine. His touch, and Emma’s comments, only made me blush more. Looks like Emma saw Cal lick my face after all. Now that wasn’t awkward or anything. ↗

— E.J. Stevens

#emma #funny #legend-of-witchtrot-road #paranormal-romance #quirky

I can't afford my principles. I borrow them from unimpeachable people and return them to undependable people. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #morality #principles #funny