#ere

You knocked the door down." Disbelief rang in his matter-of-fact tone. "I know," she answered,unable to say anything else. Unable to look away from his body. "But it's solid oak." "I know." She felt the solid oak beneath her and a little shocked that she'd done it, too. If it mattered at all, her shoulder felt a little bruised. And it was the slight pain that brought some reality back into the moment. "You don't have any clothes on." Oh, God, did she really say that? ↗

— C.C. Hunter

#funny #kylie #shadow-falls #funny

I once saw the world’s ugliest baby drown. But then I realized, “That’s not a baby, that’s a log. And it’s not drowning, it’s burning.” I wonder what it did to deserve that? It was probably a heretic. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#burn #drown #funny #heretic #ugly

Somewhere in the world there is an epigram for every dilemma. ↗

— Hendrik Willem Van Loon

#epigram #every #somewhere #world

Wherever the art of medicine is loved, there is also a love of humanity. ↗

— Hippocrates

#art #humanity #love #loved #medicine

Don't cross me Scooby-Doo. I'm not an old man in a mask waiting to be thwarted by you meddling kids. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#tv-reference #funny

I didn't really know what I wanted to do, and then I got this call from a casting director in Los Angeles. She remembered me from something years before, and she called my mom wanting me to audition for this thing. ↗

— Scott Speedman

#audition #before #call #called #casting

Companionship is a foreign concept to some people. They fear it as much as the majority of people fear loneliness. ↗

— Criss Jami

#companion #companionship #different #extroversion #fear

Your pants are unseasonably bitch. I beg your pardon. Excuse me, madam, but you are sitting on my erection. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#erection #funny #funny

Government is operated by deeply embedded, hopelessly entangled bureaus where nothing is accomplished because the function of the bureau is to intercept every living idea and smother it. ↗

— Gerry Spence

#because #bureau #bureaus #deeply #embedded

I remember at the premiere of my second movie I started crying. I thought, I'm so bad that I either have to stop this and do something else or learn what I'm doing. ↗

— Josh Brolin

#crying #doing #either #else #i