#ere

If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny. ↗

— Steven Wright

#making #penny #put #someone #somewhere

I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it. ↗

— Steven Wright

#here #i #map #over #over it

I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add. ↗

— Steven Wright

#got #i #know #now #powdered

You can't have everything. Where would you put it? ↗

— Steven Wright

#put #where #would #you

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know? ↗

— Steven Wright

#how #know #misspelled #were #word

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. ↗

— Steven Wright

#factory #fire #hydrant #i #near

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number. ↗

— Steven Wright

#considered #got #i #into #long

It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature. ↗

— Steven Wright

#difference #make #make a difference #room #room temperature

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? ↗

— Steven Wright

#mime #shoot #use #were #would

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators. ↗

— Steven Wright

#department store #people #power #store #trapped