#erie

So they finally gave you the license to kill, about time. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#funny #vampire-academy-series #funny

Deliverance is about what I went through the first time. And I chalk it up as a learning experience. ↗

— Bubba Sparxxx

#chalk #deliverance #experience #first #first time

Come live with us, Diana. Don't argue. Just say yes." Diana looked at the ground to hide her emotions. Then she said, "Would I have to be hearing you two going at it night and day? ↗

— Michael Grant

#come-live-with-us #diana #funny #gone #gone-series

What a schmuck! ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#funny #kids-lit #lemony-snickets #series-of-unfortunate-events #funny

What do you see in him anyway?” “He doesn’t leave the toilet seat up.” I smiled bitterly ↗

— Jayde Scott

#funny #funny

I have always loved you, princess" Robin Goodfellow promised, his green eyes shining in the darkness. "I always will. And I'll take whatever you can give me. ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#paranormal-romance #puck #love

What we’ve got here is a lunatic genius ghost-in-the-computer monorail that likes riddles and goes faster than the speed of sound. Welcome to the fantasy version of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. ↗

— Stephen King

#funny #humourous #funny

Underwater, bubbles erupted before my eyes as a swift hand snatched my arm and pulled me to the surface. I gasped for air, coughing and gagging at the amount of water I sucked into my lungs by pure shock. What was up with me and breathing in water? I needed to grow some gills or something. ↗

— Laura Kreitzer

#fiction #funny #gills #humor #kreitzer

It’s complicated,” I said in defense, hands going up to show surrender. “Talk slowly,” Jenna retorted derisively. “Okay, I deserved that,” I admitted. ↗

— Laura Kreitzer

#fantasy #fiction #funny #humor #jenna-moretti

We must have a creature made of Darkness to break through the cage of Darkenss that imprisons your grandmother," Thanatos said. "That creature is me." Aurox stepped forward. "Oh, for shit's sake! We are absolutely fucked!" Aphrodite said. Sadly I had to agree with her. ↗

— P.C. Cast

#aurox #funny #hidden #house-of-night #house-of-night-series