#fart

Home is where the heart is, home is where the fart is. Come let us fart in the home. There is no art in a fart. Still a fart may not be artless. Let us fart and artless fart in the home. ↗

— Ernest Hemingway

#fart #farting #home #art

I once tried standing up on my toes to see far out in the distance, but I found that I could see much farther by climbing to a high place. ↗

— Xun Zi

#could #distance #far #farther #found

Pbbtlt. "It smells like ham, Glo said. It must be Hatchet" Hatchet moved out of the shadows. "My intent was to capture and torture for information, but you have made my job easy. I now know the clue and can give this information to my master." "He's not going to believe you," Glo said. "You fart." Hatchet stood tall with one hand on his sword. "Everyone doth fart." "Not like you," Glo said. "You're a ham farter." Hatchet pressed his lips together. "Tis a manly fart. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#business

And when you are criticized, as you will be, remind your critics that you have the right to speak your mind. And if they shout you down, as they probably will, then inform them that since they insist on being asses, you will henceforth communicate with them with the appropriate part of your own anatomy. And turning to face them from the posterior, let them know where you stand. Let every fart count as a peal of thunder for liberty. Let every fart remind the nation of how much it has let pass out of its control. It is a small gesture, but one that can be very effective - especially in a large crowd. So fart, and if you must, fart often. But always fart without apology. Fart for freedom, fart for liberty - and fart proudly ↗

— Carl Japikse

#farts #communication

Uh-oh,' said Gazzy, but Angel was so nauseated she didn't have time to leap to a safe distance, or grab a gas mask Bbbbbrrrrrrrttthhhhhhttttttt. 'Mother of God, no!' Total cried, doing a fast belly-crawl to the pool and throwing himself in. 'You said it wasn't your digestive system!' 'What was that?' Dylan asked. He winced and threw an arm oer his nose and mouth. ... 'Sorry,' Gazzy said miserably, but he couldn't help a tiny grin. Nudge was clawing at a stack of towels to cover her face. 'Nice one, Gaz,' said Iggy. ... 'Wait-that was Gazzy? Is that why you call him...Oh, crap,' Dylan said weakly. ↗

— James Patterson

#humor #humor

A fart in the face is love. ↗

— James Kidd

#fart #farts #funny #love #silly

Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement, it is too fleeting; as an occupation, it is too wearing; as a public exhibition, there is no money in it. It is unsuited to the drawing room, and in the most cultured society it has long been banished from the social board. It has at last, in our day of progress and improvement, been degraded to brotherhood with flatulence. Among the best bred, these two arts are now indulged in only private--though by consent of the whole company, when only males are present, it is still permissible, in good society, to remove the embargo on the fundamental sigh. ↗

— Mark Twain

#farting #flatulence #masturbation #onanism #self-abuse

Do nothing because it is righteous or praiseworthy or noble to do so; do nothing because it seems good to do so; do only that which you must do and which you cannot do in any other way. ↗

— Ursula K. Le Guin

#noble

The barriers are not erected which can say to aspiring talents and industry, "Thus far and no farther." ↗

— Ludwig van Beethoven

#barriers #erected #far #farther #industry

The more consciously democratic Americans became, however, the less they were satisfied with a conception of the Promised Land, which went no farther than a pervasive economic prosperity guaranteed by free institutions. ↗

— Herbert Croly

#conception #consciously #democratic #economic #economic prosperity