#fart

Purple light passed over the paper, but nothing happened. "Next!" Amy said. She was sure the man in black was going to burst in on them any second. "Whoa!" Dan said. Amy gripped his arm. "You found it?" "No, but look! This whole essay - 'To the Royal Academy.' He wrote a whole essay on farts!" Dan grinned with delight. "He's proposing a scientific study on different fart smells. You're right, Amy. This guy was a genius! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#ben-franklin #dan-cahill #essay #fart #humor

I want to do it too!” said Gazzy, sitting very, very quietly, completely motionless. “Nope,” said Nudge, shaking her head. “You stand out like a fart in church. ↗

— James Patterson

#fart #funny #lol #powers #funny

What is the sound of one's pants barking? ↗

— Seizure Romero

#humor #inspiration #zen #humor

I was a very bad student. I didn't know what I wanted to do, but I knew I didn't want to go farther in school. I hated school and was always the bad one; I was always insulting the teachers. ↗

— Emmanuelle Beart

#bad #bad one #farther #go #hated

You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. ↗

— Al Capone

#farther #get #gun #kind #kind word

Pick a flower on Earth and you move the farthest star. ↗

— Paul Dirac

#farthest #flower #move #pick #star

Nothing is farther than earth from heaven; nothing is nearer than heaven to earth. ↗

— Augustus Hare

#farther #heaven #nearer #nothing #than

It seems the farther away we are from Hollywood, the better the ratings. ↗

— Martin Milner

#better #farther #hollywood #ratings #seems

Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you'll be able to see farther. ↗

— J. P. Morgan

#able #as far as #far #farther #get

I would like to believe in the myth that we grow wiser with age. In a sense my disbelief is wisdom. Those of a middle generation, if charitable or sentimental, subscribe to the wisdom myth, while the callous see us as dispensable objects, like broken furniture or dead flowers. For the young we scarcely exist unless we are unavoidable members of the same family, farting, slobbering, perpetually mislaying teeth and bifocals. ↗

— Patrick White

#false-teeth #farting #myths #old-age #senility