I always assume I look better than I actually do. I'll feel pretty good about myself when I leave the house, then I'll see a picture and think, 'Crap, I had no idea that's what I was looking like.' ↗
I was angry but not at God. I feel that you are closer to God when you are messed up. Definitely. That's when you most need God, and God cannot control what man does. ↗
But the experience that I had, which was basically just feeling loved and taken care of in a room full of thousands of people I didn't know, seemed to be a pretty strong sign that what I was doing was a good thing. ↗
What I wasn't prepared for were the feelings of anxiety that it stirred in me. I wasn't prepared for the initial feeling of I don't want to have to do that again. I was scared. ↗