#fire

I can't give you the white picket fence, and if I did, you'd set it on fire. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor #picket-fence #social-commentary #humor

I didn’t fire my gun. I gave it a promotion. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dangerous #fire #firearm #gun #guns

You know, I preferred you as an evil monk. Would have made killing you a whole lot easier. ↗

— Chris d'Lacey

#firestar #humor #killing #magic #monks

Noseless and Handless, the Lannister Boys. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#a-storm-of-swords #game-of-thrones #humor #humorous-quotes #jaime-lannister

Nothing builds confidence like live ammo. ↗

— Tim Dorsey

#firearms #humor #humor

Two farewell gifts," Sadie muttered, "from two gorgeous guys. I hate my life. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #kane #kane-chronicles #romance #sadie

How wonderful," he purred. "I've been longing to speak to you for days, Princess Cecelia." "And I've been wanting to kick you in the shin for days. ↗

— Jessica Day George

#kick #scary-comment-backfired #shin #humor

The wise speak only of what they know, Gríma son of Gálmód. A witless worm have you become. Therefore be silent, and keep your forked tongue behind your teeth. I have not passed through fire and death to bandy words with a serving-man till the lightning falls.' There was a roll of thunder. The sunlight became blotted out from the eastern windows; the whole hall became suddenly dark as night. The fire faded to sullen embers. Only Gandalf could be seen, standing white and tall before the blackened hearth. ↗

— J.R.R. Tolkien

#galmod #gandalf #grima #snake #death

Alyssa Arryn had seen her husband, her brothers, and all her children slain, and yet in life she had never shed a tear. So in death, the gods had decreed that she would know no rest until her weeping watered the black earth of the Vale, where the men she had loved were buried. Catelyn wondered how large a waterfall her own tears would make when she died. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#death

But you're worried I'll get in trouble?" I try not to show how much this pleases me. I've managed to ignore him for days now and here I sit. Lapping up his attention like a neglected puppy. My voice takes on an edge. "Why do you care? I've ignored you for days." His smile fades. He looks serious, mockingly so. "Yeah. You got to stop that. ↗

— Sophie Jordan

#jacinda-jones #love #sophie-jordan #sweet #will-and-jacinda