#gr

You're a stalker with hooves." "I am not! I followed her to the Big House and hid in a bush and watched the whole thing. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #percy-jackson #stalker #humor

When someone you love says goodbye you can stare long and hard at the door they closed and forget to see all the doors God has open in front of you. ↗

— Shannon L. Alder

#love #regret #sorrow #love

What must I do now?” Mrs. Muller considered her silently for a while. “You are still a child. You must go where you are told and do as you are told. But it won’t always be so. Soon you will be in charge of yourself. Until that time: Be aware. Listen. Look. Touch. Smell. And remember. But for now, you must go home. ↗

— Masha du Toit

#children #do-as-you-re-told #growing-up #home

[On Oscar Wilde:] "If, with the literate, I am Impelled to try an epigram, I never seek to take the credit; We all assume that Oscar said it. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#epigrams #humor #oscar-wilde #tribute #wit

Gentlemen, nerd girls are the world’s greatest underutilized romantic resource. ↗

— John Green

#john-green #nerds #romance #humor

Well, while you were in the bathroom, I sat down at this picnic table here in Bumblefug, Kentucky, and noticed that someone had carved that GOD HATES FAG, which, aside from being a grammatical nightmare, is absolutely ridiculous. So I'm changing it to 'God Hates Baguettes.' It's tough to disagree with that. Everybody hates baguettes. ↗

— John Green

#homophobia #homosexuality #humor #picnic-tables #religion

I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. ↗

— Ronald Reagan

#humor #napping #politics #humor

These books can't possibly compete with centuries of established history, especially when that history is endorsed by the ultimate bestseller of all time." Faukman's eyes went wide. "Don't tell me Harry Potter is actually about the Holy Grail." "I was referring to the Bible." Faukman cringed. "I knew that. ↗

— Dan Brown

#holy-grail #humor #humor

He gazed amusedly down the table at Tessa. “You’re the shape-changer, aren’t you?” he said. “Magnus Bane told me about you. No mark on you at all, they say.” Tessa swallowed and looked him straight in the eye. They were discordantly human eyes, ordinary in his extraordinary face. “No. No mark.” He grinned around his fork. “I do suppose they’ve looked everywhere?” “I’m sure Will’s tried,” said Jessamine in a bored tone. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#tessa-gray #humor

One-time rival and subsequent usurper Secretary of State Seward finally settled into an assessment of Lincoln that, "His confidence and compassion increase every day. ↗

— Doris Kearns Goodwin

#confidence #empathy #leadership #personal-growth #leadership