#grocer

I hate when I'm at the grocery store and the person checking me out asks, "Paper or plastic?" It's offensive. As if I'm going to sleep with her just because she has a clever pick up line. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #grocery-store #humor #paper-or-plastic #funny

I don't remember my mother ever playing with me. And she was a perfectly good mother. But she had to do the laundry and clean the house and do the grocery shopping. ↗

— Patricia Heaton

#ever #good #good mother #grocery #grocery shopping

I can write for any magazine now, in any voice. I can do it in two hours, I could do it in my sleep, it's like writing a grocery list. ↗

— Ann Patchett

#could #grocery #hours #i #i can

Matrimony is a process by which a grocer acquired an account the florist had. ↗

— Frances Rodman

#acquired #florist #grocer #had #matrimony

I may be only a fish and chip shop lady, but some of these economists need to get their heads out of the textbooks and get a job in the real world. I would not even let one of them handle my grocery shopping. ↗

— Pauline Hanson

#economists #even #fish #get #grocery

I grew up in Minnesota and everyone is so nice there. It is like Fargo. Everyone's so chipper and you make friends just grocery shopping. We kill each other with kindness. ↗

— Seann William Scott

#everyone #fargo #friends #grew #grocery

I know I will never wear sandals now anywhere. I got in a fight in the back of a grocery store when I was really young, like 14 or something. And I remember my feet were so torn up afterwards because I lost my sandals in the middle of the fight. My toenail was missing. It just sucked. ↗

— Channing Tatum

#anywhere #back #because #feet #fight

I went down to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours. He said, 'Yes, but not in a row. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor #humor

I have never written anything in one draft, not even a grocery list, although I have heard from friends that this is actually possible. ↗

— Connie Willis

#although #anything #draft #even #friends

I thought about that the other day after I went to the grocery store and had to sign fifteen autographs before leaving. On one hand, it's just so flattering. On the other hand, sometimes it would be nice to get the bread and leave, you know? ↗

— Clay Aiken

#after #autographs #be nice #before #bread