#h

Nowadays the standards had plummeted so far that I failed even at being a failure. I silently packed up. Nothing else was left. They had even robbed me of self-pity ↗

— Arthur Nersesian

#humor #pathos #standards #young-people #humor

If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again. ↗

— Bill Watterson

#work #humor

S...For Stupendous! T...For Tiger, ferocity of! U...For Underwear, Red! P...For Power, Incredible! E...For excellent physique! N...For...Um...Something..Hm, well, I'll come back to that... D...For Determination! U...For...Wait, How do you spell this? Is it "I"?? ↗

— Bill Watterson

#super-heroes #humor

You and your name dropping he said, I knew Michael, I knew Sammael. The angel Gabriel did my hair. Its like I'm with the band with biblical figures. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

And dear, if you should someday become famous, don't write a cookbook. ↗

— Lauren Graham

#humor

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.' Yeah, well, whoever wrote that was a friggin' idiot. ↗

— Marley Gibson

#sarcasm #humor

I'm not trying to please anyone. I'm just trying to write a damn book. ↗

— Christian Marotti

#books #humor #writing #humor

hermes has threatened me with slow mail. lousy Internet service and a horrible stock market if i publish this story. I hope he is just bluffing. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#heroes-of-olympus #humor #percabeth #percy-jackson #rick-riordan

Those with all the answers have not asked enough questions. ↗

— Belva Rae Staples

#humor-inspirational #humor

Who're you supposed to be, Creflo Dollar's Mini-Me? ↗

— Beverly Jenkins

#humor