#handicap

I understand why marriages break up over golf. I can't even talk about my own handicap because it's too upsetting. ↗

— Shia LaBeouf

#because #break #break up #even #golf

I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#car #disabled #funny #handicapped #humor

Before I was known, I would go on stage and pretend I was other people. Once I pretended I was mentally handicapped. It was really wrong. One time I was a bad magician. And one time I pretended I was a Christian comic. ↗

— Andy Dick

#before #christian #comic #go #handicapped

A lawyer who does not know men is handicapped. ↗

— William Dunbar

#does #handicapped #know #lawyer #men

I don't smoke marijuana anymore. I don't drink. Marijuana is a handicap. So is alcohol. Alcohol is a terrible handicap. But in spite of being a handicap, it shouldn't be criminal. ↗

— Gary Johnson

#anymore #being #criminal #drink #handicap

One of my favorite things to do is play golf at Braemar Country Club. It's quiet and not overly crowded. The people are nice, and there's wildlife all around the course. As far as my game itself, I can go from a 10 handicap to a 30, depending on the day. ↗

— Scott Baio

#as far as #club #country #country club #course

You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles. ↗

— Scott Adams

#argue #battles #candy #cents #dinner

Let's face it, the great comedians now that are handicapped in the looks department are tremendous writers. ↗

— Jack Black

#department #face #great #handicapped #looks

But the worst handicap we had the prohibition of naming individual units who had done the fighting. ↗

— Philip Gibbs

#fighting #had #handicap #individual #naming

Sometimes life is your opponent and just showing up is a victory. ↗

— John Passaro

#gift #handicap #keep-moving-forward #wrestling #life