#have

It was an emergency!" Seth blurted. "Read my lips - emergency reading - not some demented idea of fun. If I was starving, I would eat asparagus. If somebody held a gun to my head, I would watch a soap opera. And to save Fablehaven, I would read a book, okay, are you happy?" You had best be careful, Seth," Grandma warned. "The love of reading can be contagious." I just lost my appetite," he declared... ↗

— Brandon Mull

#fablehaven #funny #mull #reading #seth

Be careful you don't cut yourself. The edges are sharp enough to shave with.' 'Girls don't shave', Arya said. 'Maybe they should. Have you ever seen the septa's legs? ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#a-song-of-ice-and-fire #arya-stark #cutting #funny #george-r-r-martin

I fixed your car," he said, tossing the keys from a jade dish on the little maple end table. I palmed them and eyed him speculatively. "You fixed my car?" "I have walked the earth for more than a century. I managed to pick up some skills along the way," he said, before reluctantly adding, "and one of them is finding skilled mechanics." I smirked, leaning against the wall. "You almost had me there." "I supervised," he insisted. ↗

— Molly Harper

#gabriel #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #funny

Are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to whack you with a stick until delicious candy surprises fall out? ↗

— Molly Harper

#jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #pinata #questions

Leaving knots untied and scattering seeds to distract them will only work on vampires with OCD. ↗

— Molly Harper

#jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #ocd #funny

Idiot," I said, before grinning broadly and crushing his mouth to mine. "We need to pick new pet names for each other," he muttered as I hefted myself up from the ground. ↗

— Molly Harper

#gabriel #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #pet-names

Mama operated under the assumption that I was eight years old and incapable of feeding myself. It was physically impossible for her to cross my threshold without some form of nourishment. She once offered me cheese and crackers from her while we were standing in my kitchen. ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #jane-jameson #mama #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs

Besides, my drinking blood's not nearly as weird as that time I caught you shaving your legs." "I was curious! ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #vampire

FABLEHAVEN: None who enter will leave unchanged. Trespassers will be turned to stone. ↗

— Brandon Mull

#humor #magic #trespassing #humor

People always tell me, 'Reinvent yourself, re-this, re-whatever.' I haven't reinvented myself. It's an honest evolution. I've always been authentic. ↗

— Pamela Anderson

#authentic #been #evolution #haven #honest