#he

A true friend is a gift from God. Since God doesn't exist, guess what? Neither do true friends. ↗

— Scott Dikkers

#cynicism #friendship #humor #friendship

The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit. ↗

— Richard Pryor

#humor #religion #vampires #humor

You look disappointed to see me, Zach," Macey teased. "Don't you like my jacket? ↗

— Ally Carter

#humor #macey-mchenry #zach-goode #humor

He’s a love-’em-and-leave-’em kind of guy. And though he’s not a Lord, he does have a curse hanging over his head. I have the book to prove it.” William growled low in his throat. “Anya! Must you share my secrets with everyone?” He flattened his palms on the arms of his chair. “Fine. If you can spill, I can, too. Anya’s the reason the Titanic sank. She was playing chicken with the icebergs.” Scowling, Anya anchored her hands on her hips. “William had a bronze made of his penis and placed it on his mantel. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#lords-of-the-underworld #william #humor

Hmm…” Jason snapped his fingers. “I can call a friend for a ride.” Percy raised his eyebrows. “Oh, yeah? Me too. Let's see whose friend gets here first. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#flying-horses #heroes-of-olympus #humor #jason-grace #percy-jackson

My first words, as I was being born [...] I looked up at my mother and said, 'that's the last time I'm going up one of those. ↗

— Stephen Fry

#female-genitalia #homosexuality #humor #mothers #humor

And yet, Eomer, I say to you that she loves you more truly than me, for you she loves and knows; but in me she loves only a shadow and a thought: a hope of glory and great deeds, and lands far from the fields of Rohan. - Aragorn to Eomer, of Eowyn ↗

— J.R.R. Tolkien

#glory #love #sister #love

(All the grief she had suffered over her lifetime had moulded her face into a mask of eternal sadness) ↗

— Jean Sasson

#love

Children expect their mothers to love them, no matter what. Those who don't get this tend to feel cheated the rest of their lives. ↗

— Bella Pollen

#motherhood #love

I love you," she said, and I knew she meant it because she spoke the words from the heart at the center of her chest. This, at least, had not been left behind at the hospital. ↗

— Augusten Burroughs

#love #love