#hi

Instead of heading for a big mental breakdown, I decided to have a small breakdown every Tuesday evening. ↗

— Graham Parke

#philosophy #quirky #humor

If I was made of cake I'd eat myself before somebody else could. ↗

— Emma Donoghue

#child #humor #self #humor

Everybody has something, that one thing they must do to feel happy. I think this is yours, and I want you to be happy. You don’t have to do it, but it’s here if you choose to come back to it. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#happiness #happy #job #something #work

Childhood is for spoiling adulthood. ↗

— Bill Watterson

#humor

Sam. I've got news for you. Not every childhood trauma can be healed by finding the right penis." Sam looked devastated. He opened and closed his mouth, eyes wide, then suddenly slumped back against the railing, unable to support himself anymore. "You mean," his voice was barely a whisper. "All those romance novels lied? ↗

— Anne Tenino

#humor #sexual-healing #humor

All I really wanted to do was cuddle back under the blankets, maybe with a certain stuffed toy penguin I knew. Yeah, hiding sounded good. ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#humor #humor

I was trying to decide if you still had free will as a wolf. If I was a terrible person for planning to drug my girlfriend and drag her back to my house to keep in the basement. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#relationships #sam-roth #humor

Discipline allows magic. To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. You do not sit down and write every day to force the Muse to show up. You get into the habit of writing every day so that when she shows up, you have the maximum chance of catching her, bashing her on the head, and squeezing every last drop out of that bitch. ↗

— Lili St. Crow

#funny-as-hell #funny-quotes #funny-stuff #humor #humor-work

Amy, Dan, and Nellie were sitting at a table in a conference room, examining reproductions of Franklin documents-some so rare, the librarians told her, the only copies existed in Paris. "Yeah, here's a rare grocery list," Dan muttered. "Wow. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#cahill #humor #rare #sarcasm #humor

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking. ↗

— H.L. Mencken

#definitions #ethics #humor #humor