#hi

ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#blacksmith #clothing #humor #war #humor

That's your mom, right?" Pathik smiled. "She looks nicer than she did when she was dragging you away the other night. ↗

— Teri Hall

#mothers #pathik #teri-hall #the-line #humor

I've got a dad thanks. Your just the jerk who knocked up my mum and left her to figure out what to do with a son who likes setting things on fire." - Adam Vasic ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#humor #kelly-armstrong #thirteen #humor

I like all my children, even the squat and ugly ones. ↗

— Howard Nemerov

#even #i #like #ones #squat

I think you have a pact with an audience in every picture, and I think the pact is to try and be truthful and to be real. ↗

— James L. Brooks

#be real #every #i #i think #pact

I have to tell you, Arty, a screw up this early in the proceedings doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence. I hope you’re as clever as you keep telling everyone you are.” “I never tell anybody exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared... ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#fantasy #humor #humor

I played the trumpet a bit like a porker, I think. ↗

— Boris Vian

#i #i think #like #played #think

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth. ↗

— Victor Borge

#anything #aspirations #because #between #else

He looked the boy up and down as if he had never seen a child before and wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to do with one: eat it, ignore it or kick it down the stairs. ↗

— John Boyne

#humor #humor

Oh God, unattractive and pompous. A winning combination. My inner control panel is screaming ABORT! ABORT! ↗

— Lauren Morrill

#humor #humor