#hum

Go play your games with Jim. I'll find you both when I need you." Arrogant asshole. "I tell you what, if you find us before those three days run out, I'll cook you a damn dinner and serve it to you naked." "Is that a promise?" "Yes. Go fuck yourself. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#flirting #humor #kate-daniels #magic-strikes #humor

Why are Americans so fascinated by Ireland?” Keith asked... “you all think you’re Irish. What’s the appeal? Do you like the accent more? Is it all the magical rocks? Oh, look, a lep­rechaun... ↗

— Maureen Johnson

#keith #humor

Let me make sure I have this straight. The cavalry just now rode into town and it's a Czech Gypsy porn-star zombie killer. Have I got that right? ↗

— Richard Kadrey

#zombies #humor

I will take a serious approach to a subject usually treated lightly, which is a nerdy thing to do. ↗

— Benjamin Nugent

#geek #humor #nerd #non-fiction #humor

Once you've been squashed by a giant, a troll doesn't even seem nearly as heavy. ↗

— Christopher Healy

#humor

He frowned as he struggled to remember. It was like watching an elephant crochet. ↗

— Val McDermid

#humor

I think that the only real way to tell if a boy like likes you is to be direct. None of this game-playing, that's juvenile. Instead, even though it might be scary, the thing to do is to just march up and ask one of your friends to ask someone else to ask one of his friends what he thinks about you. ↗

— Lisa Yee

#humor

She didn't have any intention of crying. The tears caught her by surprise. She knew she was behaving like a child, that she was being terribly foolish and emotional, but she didn't know how to stop herself. "Judith?" His thumb brushed away one of the tears on her cheek. "Tell me why you're crying." "There weren't any flowers. Iain, there should have been flowers." Her voice had been so soft, he wasn't certain he understood her. "Flowers?" he asked. "Where weren't there any flowers?" He waited for her to explain, but she stubbornly remained silent. He squeezed her. "In the chapel." "What chapel?" "The one you don't have," she answered. ↗

— Julie Garwood

#humor

Looks like Faye's doing a little extracurricular activity," a voice behind her murmured, and Cassie turned gratefully. Nick nodded at the guy who was occupying the seat there, and the guy scrambled up and left. Cassie hardly noticed the occurrence, it was so common. The kids from Crowhaven Road indicated what they wanted, and the outsiders gave it to them. Always. It was the way things worked. Nick sat in the vacated chair and took out a pack of cigarettes. He opened it, shook one forward. Then he noticed Cassie. Cassie was staring at him with her eyebrows lifted, her best Diana expression on. Disapproval radiating from her like heat waves. "Ah," Nick said. He glanced at the cigarettes, then at her again. He tapped the protruding cigarette back into place and tucked the pack in his pocket. "Bad habit," he said. ↗

— L.J. Smith

#habits #humor #humor

We're talking about a tentacled flying lamp fucker, Dave. What are you prepared to call unlikely? ↗

— David Wong

#humor