#hum

Of all the crap, crap, crappy nights I've ever had in the whole of my crap life. On a scale of one to 10, we're talking...a minus 6. And it's not like I even have very high standards. ↗

— Sophie Kinsella

#humor

I have detected disturbances in the wash.' 'The wash?' 'The space-time wash.' 'Are we talking about some sort of Vogon laundromat, or what are we talking about?' 'Eddies in the space-time continuum.' 'Ah...is he. Is he.' 'What?' 'Er, who is Eddy, then, exactly? ↗

— Douglas Adams

#humor

I hate when people say 'I see'. It doesn't mean anything and I think it's hostile. Whenever anyone tells me 'I see' I think they're really saying 'Fuck you'. ↗

— Peter Cameron

#life #truth #humor

I found one day in school a boy of medium size ill-treating a smaller boy. I expostulated, but he replied: "The bigs hit me, so I hit the babies; that's fair." In these words he epitomized the history of the human race. ↗

— Bertrand Russell

#human-nature #education

My aunt and overprivileged cousin only recognize two states of being: glitter and grunge. And if you weren’t glitter, well, that only left one other option. ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#irony-of-life #life

My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#funny #humor #life #funny

Life sucks, then you die. Then it sucks again. ↗

— Tonya Hurley

#life #humor

My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for child molesting. He had never molested me, but I wanted to have a party that weekend and needed him out of the house. ↗

— Chelsea Handler

#humor

Anything was better than nothing. Half-full was better than empty. Ignorance was the lowest form of humiliation and suffering. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#ignorance #life #reality #suffering #life

We are all ordinary. We are all boring. We are all spectacular. We are all shy. We are all bold. We are all heroes. We are all helpless. It just depends on the day. ↗

— Brad Meltzer

#humanity #life #life