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Chelsea Handler

Read through the most famous quotes from Chelsea Handler

There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.

— Chelsea Handler

#drinking #drinks #humor #humor

I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.

— Chelsea Handler


Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.

— Chelsea Handler


You know you're a hot mess when the only person buying you drinks all night is yourself.

— Chelsea Handler

#funny #hot-mess #humor #funny

Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re probably not interested in seeing them again either.

— Chelsea Handler


I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

— Chelsea Handler

#humor #humor

He laid into me with the same gusto as a right-wing political pundit on the O'Reilly Factor defending President's Bush right to vacation six days out of the week.

— Chelsea Handler


My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an effort, I am reminded that my only true strength lies in drinking.

— Chelsea Handler

#humor #funny

Paris Hilton is going on a goodwill mission to Rwanda. It’s the first time an entire Third World country will have to get immunizations for a visitor.

— Chelsea Handler


ONE OF MY girlfriends was getting married. This was becoming an annoying pattern.

— Chelsea Handler

#so-true #funny

About Chelsea Handler

Chelsea Handler Quotes

Did you know about Chelsea Handler?

In 2010 Chelsea Handler was ranked on the Forbes Celebrity 100 at number 98. In 2012 Time magazine placed her on the list of its 100 Most Influential People. Clair Megan Mullally and Cheryl Hines.

Chelsea Joy Handler (born February 25 1975) is an American comedian actress author talk show host and producer.

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