#hum

You mean a bad heel?" I said. "Couldn't I just, like, wear something besides sandals? No offense." -Percy ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary numerals, and those who don't. ↗

— Ian Stewart

#computers #humor #humor

Eventually, I manage to cheer Mum up by allowing her to go through my wardrobe and criticize all my clothes... ↗

— Helen Fielding

#parents #humor

NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#humor #philosophy #humor

What in the name of Voldy’s pasty-white rear end was that? ↗

— G. Norman Lippert

#expletives #humor #humor

Everyone thinks I'm crazy, you know, because I can't tell them the truth; which is, that I'm driven crazy by all these thoughts, all these heads. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#humor #sookie-stackhouse #true-blood #humor

Dont you know... I'm the boggyman."-St. Dane ↗

— D.J. MacHale

#humor

I was safe. Uncomfortable as hell, but safe.-Bobby, RR ↗

— D.J. MacHale

#humor

They'll be fine," Wickersham said. "Practice makes perfect." I had to ask. "You practice running away?" "We knew we'd make enemies. Other organizations have fire drills; we have oh-shit-someone-found-our-ass drills. ↗

— Scott Westerfeld

#scott-westerfeld #humor

Hatori: "That being said, Yuki... when did you become a woman?" Yuki: "How dare you say that after you've seen me naked so many times... ↗

— Natsuki Takaya

#humor