#hum

You know, drinking milk doesn't make your boobs get any bigger. ↗

— Peach-Pit

#humor #ikuto #manga #shugo-chara #humor

Romance is like maintaining a car. If you do a good job of it, you will always have a dependable quiet ride. ↗

— T.R. Wallace

#romance #whimsy #humor

Damon Scares me,' Maggie said. 'Maybe you should do what he wants.' 'Can't.' 'Why not?' 'Because he killed me. That kind of pisses me off ↗

— D.J. MacHale

#humor

Your neck smells like cheese,' I said. 'Oh,' He said, 'that's my cheese cologne. I have a whole selection. Chedder, American, Swiss. ↗

— Kristin Walker

#humor #todd #humor

I felt my cell phone buzz, and I looked at the screen. Ranger. “Your GPS just went blank,” Ranger said when I answered. “The car exploded.” There was a beat of silence. “Rafael won the pool,” Ranger said. “Are you okay?” “Yes.” “I’ll send someone. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humor

I guess maybe you don’t get to be the Merlin of the White Council by saving up frequent-flier miles ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

Does anyone here speak English? Or even Ancient Greek? — A very lost Marcus Brody ↗

— Rob MacGregor

#movies #humor

The THE TABLOIDS are always going to be a war for POPULARITY in the CELEB world. ↗

— Meg Cabot

#humor

You'd tell the world what your best friend wore to sleep if you thought it made a good enough story. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#humor #story #humor

I didn't want to do it,' Kiala said. 'The universe just kind of conspired to force me to make a fool of myself. It does that quite a lot, actually. ↗

— Graham Parke

#philosophy #weird #humor