#hum

My girlfriend is a party girl angel who can kick some arse and cook. ↗

— Wendy Higgins

#humor #kaidan #love #humor

It's no good choosing your first husband from a school for evil geniuses. Much too difficult to kill. ↗

— Gail Carriger

#humor #marriage #humor

I'm taking a quick shower. I'm gross. I need to be clean." "You shouldn't be doing that." The door handle jingled. It wasn't locked. "Alex!" "I'm naked," I warned. Silence and then, "Is that supposed to make me not want to come in there? ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#alex #deity #humor #humor

The two things that matter the most to me: emotional resonance and rocket launchers. Party of Five, a brilliant show--and often made me cry uncontrollably--suffered ultimately from a lack of rocket launchers. ↗

— Joss Whedon

#commentary #humor #humor

Cats gravitate to kitchens like rocks gravitate to gravity. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #humor

Doug returned five minutes later and shook his head. "Sorry kid. She's single, but she doesn't think you're her type. She's into the Goth and vampire scene. You're too mainstream for her." I was sipping a glass of water and nearly choked on it. "That," said Peter, as soon as Doug was gone, "is what we call irony." "How is that possible?" exclaimed Cody. "I am a vampire. I should be exactly what she wants." "Yeah, but you don't look like one," I said. If Gabrielle had been a Trekkie, he might have had a shot tonight. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor #humor

Parents. Honestly. Sometimes they really do think the world revolves around them. ↗

— Randa Abdel-Fattah

#parents #universe #humor

Holy mother of Lord Cocoa Puffs ↗

— Lauren Oliver

#humor

Why was the judgement of the disapproving so valuable? Who said that their good opinions tended to be any more rational than those of generally pleasant people? ↗

— Shannon Hale

#judgement #humor

Come make me sticky. Dimitri to Honor ↗

— Nalini Singh

#sexy #sexy-humor #humor