#hum

Half the time your kids end up hating you for at least 5 of their teenage years[.] And don't ever expect anything so mundane as a thank you ↗

— Donna Ball

#motherhood #humor

I could stay living in this city if they just installed Blaupunkts in the cabs. ↗

— Bret Easton Ellis

#patrick-bateman #humor

The way the function dictates the form... elegant lines... nothing extraneous... this shoe perfectly expresses the essence of shoeness. ↗

— David Mazzucchelli

#humor #humor

I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#work #humor

If they have to drag some of you fucking fuckers out of here in body bags, I will be so fucking stoked. ↗

— Michael Ian Black

#humor

I don't drink water. Fish fuck in it. ↗

— WC Fields

#humor

Meg, I’m not suddenly some kind of all-knowing dragon expert, you know. ↗

— Michelle Knudsen

#humor

People as a rule do mean much more than they understand. ↗

— Glenway Wescott

#humor #intention #wisdom #humor

Minsk! How pissed-off that sounded! It was great. You could scare the bejayzus out of someone if you said it right. ↗

— Marian Keyes

#swear-words #humor

I am a socially akward man-dork"-Nick ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#humor