#hum

He's wearing his official university sweatshirt again, which puzzles me a little. I mean I'd sort of understand it more if it said Yale or Harvard or something, because then it would be a fashion choice. But why advertise the fact that you're at a university to all the other people who are at the university with you? ↗

— David Nicholls

#humor #humor

Having placed in my mouth sufficient bread for three minutes' chewing, I withdrew my powers of sensual perception and retired into the privacy of my mind, my eyes and face assuming a vacant and preoccupied expression. I reflected on the subject of my spare-time literary activities. One Beginning and one ending for a book was a thing I did not agree with. A good book may have three openings entirely dissimilar and inter-related only in the prescience of the author, or for that matter one hundred times as many endings. ↗

— Flann O'Brien

#irish #humor

Once upon a time, there was a little creature that was rather small and rather wicked and it lived all alone in the woods. The little creature lived in a little den, at the bottom of a little ravine, filled with not-at-all little brambles and on the edge of a forest that could only be described as really freakin' huge. ↗

— Ursula Vernon

#humor

Given the choice between fulfilling love and a washing machine, young people in the U.S. and the Soviet Union both chose the washing machine. ↗

— Kristin Ross

#humor

What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary ↗

— Richard Harkness

#humor

My mother read that parents should spend quality time with their children. One way is to sign up for organized activities together. This month we're taking meditation to free the mind. Last month it was Rolfing. Have you ever Rolfed, Tone?" "Only after the school's shepherd's pie," I said. ↗

— Julie Anne Peters

#humor #humor

Do you think that people ever really do believe they will die, that the world will just go along as always without them? I wonder if we aren't all a little surprised at the moment of crossover, if we don't look back over our shoulders saying, Now hold on. ↗

— Elizabeth Berg

#humor

Since when did you bring a gun?" Navidson asks, crouching near the door. "Are you kidding me? This place is scary. ↗

— Mark Z. Danielewski

#humor

Stupid. Stupid. Foaly, we are both imbeciles. I don't expect lateral thinking from the LEP, but from you..." ... "What is it?" [Holly] asked, afraid of the answer, which must surely be terrible. "Yeah," agreed Foaly, who always had time to feel insulted. "Why am I an imbecile? ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#foaly #holly #humor #humor

Si la cursilería fuera un pecado, yo cada noche me ganaría el infierno. ↗

— Xavier Velasco

#cynicism #humor #humor