#hum

I think it would be funny to have one of those family decals showing a really skinny teenage girl barfing into a little chalk-outline bag (the bulimic in the family) or the dad figure dressed in the woman's underwear that he truly enjoys slipping into when no one's looking. Or the wife figure smiling with her exaggerated curly hair and tennis skirt, clutching a racket in one hand and a bottle of Stoli' in the other. ↗

— Celia Rivenbark

#family

Xavier, you have given me more grey hairs than all my sons put together.’ Saul frowned, then corrected himself. ‘To be fair, you and Zed. Just try not to add to them tonight. ↗

— Joss Stirling

#father #humor #sons #family

You can't force folks to have good sense, even if they're family. Maybe especially then. ↗

— Patricia C. Wrede

#good-sense #humor #family

No!" Amy said. "Dan, you're lucky it was only concussive. You could've wiped out the whole Holt family." "And that would've been bad because...? ↗

— Rick Riordan

#dan-cahill #humor #family

There was a momentary lull in the shooting and spellslinging, and the kid started scrambling to his feet. I grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. “In my family that’s not silence; it’s reloading. ↗

— Lisa Shearin

#family

All happy families resemble one another, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way, and when it comes to the Holiday Season, happy families can abruptly become unhappy and unhappy families can, to their great alarm, be happy ↗

— Marisha Pessl

#family

Death didn't bother me much. Strong Christian and all that. Method of death did. Being eaten alive. One of my top three ways not to go out. ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#humor #death

Nothing sinister. Just getting exercise. Although some might consider that sinister. ↗

— Marian Keyes

#keyes #family

Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes its time, and gets to know everyone personally. —T-SHIRT ↗

— Darynda Jones

#family

In the future if my mother tries to shame me with her disapproval, I will let her know in no uncertain terms that I reject her and all of her codependent baggage. I am Codependent No More. ↗

— Susan Juby

#humor #family