#hum

The climate of Barrow is Arctic. Temperatures range from cold as shit to fucking freezing. ↗

— Steve Niles

#cold #humor #humor

Gotta have more cowbell baby! ↗

— Christopher Walken

#humor

It's a well-known fact. All women are clinically insane, but especially ballet dancers. Psycho. estremely psycho. Trust me. ↗

— Marisa de los Santos

#humor

Great," Percy said. "Seven of us against Hercules." "And a satyr!" Hedge added. "We can take him. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

I'm sorry, but you just can't fit fabulous into a backpack. ↗

— Samantha Sotto

#humor

You know, I've heard you actually have to have sex to get pregnant. ↗

— Stephanie Perkins

#humor

Liz cleared her throat. "Isn't there a more polite term we're supposed to use nowadays? Like....little person, or vertically challenged,or-" "I'm not going to call myself the god of vertically challenged people," Bes grumbled. "I'm a dwarf! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#sadie-kane #humor

You know what happens when you get out of the Marine Corps," Person continues. "you get you brains back. ↗

— Evan Wright

#humor

Father, we come to You, Father, in the name of the Father, Father we come to You, Father, Father, just, just, Father, Father...' You don't talk to you friends like that. 'Ed, Ed, come over, Ed, Ed, Ed, you are, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, ooh, Ed, Ed, Ed' - he wouldn't be your friend anymore if you did that! Like, 'You keep saying Ed...my name's Joe! ↗

— Tim Hawkins

#humor #praying #humor

I'm retarded and I'm on TV ↗

— Evanescence

#humor