#hum

Sophie and I would use her Christmas break to make homemade treats from our very own kitchen. I mean, if thousands of meth addicts can do it, why can't we? ↗

— Celia Rivenbark

#humor #humor

Abraham," he said. "I'm pleased to see you alive, old friend." "And I to see you dead. ↗

— Seth Grahame-Smith

#vampires #humor

I'm your Beloved, dammit! You're going to let me save your soul, and like it! ↗

— Katie MacAlister

#humor

Every town you go to, they tell you what's special about their town. What they're number one at... This guy comes up and says, 'D'you know that we're the home of the world's largest frying pan?' '...Really! That is great 'cause I'm writin' a new book called Things I Don't Care About. ↗

— Tim Hawkins

#traveling #humor

There's nothing more aggravating in the world than the midnight sniffling of the person you've decided to hate. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#humor #truth #humor

Luck is the bastard child of Fate and Destiny. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#entertainment #humor #humorous #humor

He was used to being playful with women, teasing while keeping ultimate control. With Luna, he felt like a berserk marauder. He couldn't even spell control, much less utilize it. ↗

— Lori Foster

#humor

I am his Highness' dog at Kew; Pray tell me, sir, whose dog are you? ↗

— Alexander Pope

#humor #subservience #humor

I found that things weren't going well upstairs. Carter was a crumpled heap of chicken warrior on the slope of the pyramid. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #sadie #humor

There were lot of fools at the conference – pompous fools – and pompous fools drive me up the wall. Ordinary fools are alright; you can talk to them and try to help them out. But pompous fools – guys who are fools and covering it all over and impressing people as to how wonderful they are with all this hocus pocus – THAT, I CANNOT STAND! An ordinary fool isn’t a faker; an honest fool is alright. But a dishonest fool is terrible! ↗

— Richard P. Feynman

#humor