#hum

I love the smell of a new book, but I prefer inhaling fresh bottles of ink and glue. They get me more lightheaded – unless I read the book. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #funny

Let me get you all some punch,” I said. “You're leaving us?” said Isabel, sounding panicky. “I'll be right back,” I promised. “If anyone comes near you, just scream and run. ↗

— Kenneth Oppel

#funny #humor #kate #matt #oppel

I turned back to the television. After a while what I was staring at registered. “Hey, this is The Long Goodbye." Jake opened his eyes. “What?" "This movie. It's Robert Altman's take on Chandler's The Long Goodbye. ‘Nothing says good-bye like a bullet.’” "I don't know,” said Jake. “Sometimes the words are enough. ↗

— Josh Lanyon

#humor #jake-riordan #josh-lanyon #humor

Every letter was a love letter. Of course, as love letters went, this one could have been better. It was not very promising, for instance, that Madeleine claimed not to want to see him for the next half-century. ↗

— Jeffrey Eugenides

#love-letter #humor

I'll bet I'm as old as you are." "I'm older than Sanskrit." "Well, I was waitress at the Last Supper." "I'm so old I remember when McDonald's had only sold a hundred burgers." "You win. ↗

— Tom Robbins

#humor

I thought of several alec smart remarks, but you should humor crazy people when you're at their mercy; it's a rule. ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#chimera #narcissus-in-chains #humor

POKSI (Physically Okay but Socially Inept) ↗

— Jody Gehrman

#humor

What she means is, I might look like a pussy but I'm really a badass demon. ↗

— Jaye Wells

#humor #minion #silver-tongued-devil #humor

I huffed out a deep breath. “It’s something huge, isn’t it?” Beezle nodded. “Yup.” There was a sound of several limbs splashing in the water. “Is it all squishy and tentacly?” “Yup.” “I hate my life,” I said, and as I turned I conjured a ball of nightfire and threw it. ↗

— Christina Henry

#humor #humor

You are putting yourself in serious danger...' I think that I preferred to put myself in serious danger rather than confront my shame. My shame at not having become someone, the shame of not having made my parents proud after all the sacrifices they had made for me. The shame of having become a mediocre nihilist. ↗

— Marjane Satrapi

#memoir #young_adult #humor