#hum

Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream. ↗

— George W. Bush

#dreams

Men are not potatoes! ↗

— Robert A. Heinlein

#science #humor

Screw the rules, I have money! ↗

— Martin Billany a.k.a. Little Kuriboh

#humor

Not interested in love or money. Interested in french fries. ↗

— Lauren Leto

#humor

You want him praising the Lord in the morning, you put a smile on his face tonight. ↗

— Mark Gungor

#relationships #humor

The past is every second of your life up until now. Up until NOW. See how quickly the present is gobbled up by the past? The present is... Sorry, it's already gone. Hmm, it was just there a minute ago. ↗

— Evan Kuhlman

#humor #humor

FINALLY she had convinced him that she would still respect him in the morning. ↗

— Anne Taintor

#humor

She like imaginary men best of all. ↗

— Anne Taintor

#humor

Finally, I found what seemed at the time to be a lid of some sort. Presuming it was a toilet seat (but not really caring one way or the other) I lifted it up, then dropped my shorts and began to piss. Ahhh...success. Then I stumbled back to bed and passed out. It wasn't until the next morning that I realized what had actually happened. I woke to the sight of Junior standing over my bed with a look of disgust on his face. "Hey, man. Did you pee in my suitcase? ↗

— Dave Mustaine

#humor #megadeth #humor

Oh my!! How you've grown. Soon you'll be catching the Lord's balls. ↗

— Marjane Satrapi

#humor #memoir #young_adult #humor