#hum

Commander: What's that? Foaly: It's a finger, what does look like? ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#humor

Alan: Conning people out of their savings. Forgery. Blackmail. Selling real estate on Mars. We could have it all. You with me, Bambi?" Sin: "Clive, I was with you from 'I'm a social worker. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#young-adult #humor

Intelligence is being intelligent enough to know you're not so intelligent as you intelligently once thought. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#humorous-quotations #philosophical #humor

If you make a deal with a fool, don't be surprised when they act foolishly. ↗

— Jeffrey Archer

#philosophical #humor

I don’t believe him,” said Hermione in a very unsteady voice, the moment they were out of earshot of Hagrid. “I don’t believe him. I really don’t believe him. . . .” “Calm down,” said Harry. “Calm down!” she said feverishly. “A giant! A giant in the forest! And we’re supposed to give him English lessons! Always assuming, of course, we can get past the herd of murderous centaurs on the way in and out! I — don’t — believe — him! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#centaurs #duty #humor #promises #humor

مجموعة شباب في عمر الورد ، حيارى وسط أنواء السياسة المصرية ، ضعاف بلا حول في مجتمع يدوس بقسوة على الضعفاء .. غير مؤمنين بما هو كائن .. ولكن ليس لدينا خطة بما ينبغي أن يكون . خلاصة القول أننا مجموعة من الوطنيين نحب الوطن المريض ولكن ليس لدينا وجهة نظر بشأن علاج هذا الوطن الذي أشرف على الهلاك المبين ! ↗

— محمود السعدني

#humor

Daemon had written: "What do you do when she asks a question no man would give a child an answer to?" Saetan had replied: "Hope you're obliging enough to answer it for me. However, if you're backed into a corner, refer her to me. I've become accustomed to being shocked. ↗

— Anne Bishop

#humor

Never run after a man or a bus, there's always another one in five minutes. ↗

— Cherry Adair

#military #romantic-suspense #humor

I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor

Shoulda, woulda, coulda. They were the Three Stooges of regret. All they were good for was saying whoop-whoop-whoop and smacking each other over the head. ↗

— Thea Harrison

#humor