#hum

Rory: "People are being serious." Jazza: "There's a serial killer out there. Of course people are being serious." Rory: "Yeah, but what are the chances?" Jazza: "I bet all of the victims thought that." Rory: "But still, what are the chances?" Jazza: "Well, I imagine they are several million to one." Jerome: "Not that high. You're only dealing with a small part of London. And while there might be a million or more people in that area, the Ripper is probably focusing on women, because all of the original victims were women. So halve that--" Jazza: "You really need another hobby. ↗

— Maureen Johnson

#jazza #jerome #odds #rory #serial-killer

Pia was blackmailed into committing a crime more suicidal than she could possibly have imagined, and she had no one to blame but herself. ↗

— Thea Harrison

#humor

She closed her eyes and tried to imagine sex entering the picture. Would sex enter the picture in a silk robe, or would it be as nude as a platter of cold cuts? Would sex enter the picture from the left or the right? Would it ring first, or would it just slide in slyly, too quick and slippery to be denied; or, would sex barge in forcibly, red-faced and green-bereted, pushing all other things aside? ↗

— Tom Robbins

#humor

Berharap hidup memperlakukanmu dengan baik karena kamu orang baik, itu sama konyolnya seperti berharap banteng takkan menandukmu karena kamu vegetarian ↗

— Roseanne Barr

#life #humor

Benvolio- "By my head, here come the Capulets." Mercutio- "By my heel, I care not. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#quarrel #romeo-and-juliet #humor

Read read good... ↗

— Brian Regan

#humor

Fear causes the dog to bite and Roze was one bitch. ↗

— Maria V. Snyder

#humor #humor

Do you really think that God in his heaven with all the angels, there from the beginning of time and looking towards the day of judgement day, really looks down on all the world and see's you and little harry and says 'whatever you choose to do is my will?' "Yes i do." she says uncertainly. ↗

— Philippa Gregory

#ignorance #sarcasm-humor #humor

The bristling eyebrows shot up in mock surprise. Mesmerized, the boy watched them disappear under the hanging thatch of white hair. There, almost coyly, they remained just out of sight for a moment, before suddenly descending with a terrible finality and weight. ↗

— Jonathan Stroud

#humor #wit #humor

Exit pursued by a bear." [STAGE DIRECTIONS in The Winter's Tale (III, iii)] ↗

— William Shakespeare

#humor #stage-directions #humor