#hum

You're doing fucking awesome, Colt whispers in my ear and I can't help but smile at that. Only he would use the word 'fuck' at my mom's funeral. ↗

— Nyrae Dawn

#funny

I am so stupid, so easily fooled. It's really almost funny. If I could lift a finger I would gladly kill myself. ↗

— Will Christopher Baer

#stupidity #suicide #funny

Sometimes the way to a man's heart is through his talleywacker. ↗

— Sabrina Jeffries

#men #humor

Mother nature is a fickle and forgetful bitch," she snapped. "She needs a helping hand and I am trying to hurry her along for their sake. ↗

— Sabrina Jeffries

#mother-nature #humor

‎"Sarge, mr. Nurd here is threatening to turn me to jelly." "really?" said Sarge. "what flavor? ↗

— John Connolly

#gates #humor #john-connolly #science-fiction-fantasy #humor

The only excursion of my life outside of New Orleans took me through the vortex to the whirlpool of despair: Baton Rouge. . . . New Orleans is, on the other hand, a comfortable metropolis which has a certain apathy and stagnation which I find inoffensive. ↗

— John Kennedy Toole

#ignatius-j-reilly #new-orleans #humor

It did not look like the work of God, but it might have represented the handicraft of a God with a joyous sense of humor, a dancing God who loved mischief as much as prayer, and playfulness as much as mischief. ↗

— Pat Conroy

#god #humor

For a brief, weird minute I felt like Dorothy in Oz, walking down the street with Terric the doubtful, Shame the brainless, and heartless Zay. ↗

— Devon Monk

#humor

On my first day of kindergarten: "You thought it was hard? If kindergarten is busting your ass, I got some bad news for you about the rest of life. ↗

— halpern

#kindergarten #humor

Daughters can spend ten percent more than a man can make in any usual occupation. That’s a law of nature, to be known henceforth as ‘Harshaw’s Law. ↗

— Robert A. Heinlein

#money #humor